My colleague Chuck Lindell recently gave us a nice overview of the 820 new state laws that went into effect Sept. 1. You must learn and live each and every one, including the one we’ll deal with today that falls under the always-entertaining heading of Weird Niche Stuff That Government Does.

As you probably know (though I’m worried about you if you actually do), the Board of Boiler Rules of the Texas Department of Licensing and Regulation met recently here in town.

As you probably also know (and now I’m really worried about you if you do), the notice for the meeting said topics to be considered included “Possible changes to the administrative rules that would remove the requirement that boiler permits be placed under glass when they are displayed.” Turns out the board was under legislative marching orders to shatter the glass requirement.

This year our state lawmakers, those multitasking miracles of humanity, approved House Bill 2847, a 9,600-word goulash of legislation “relating to the licensing and regulation of certain occupations.” Those “certain occupations” touch on various facets of 21st century life, including leased vehicles, driver education, laser hair removal, pharmacists, podiatrists, midwives, audiologists, dietitians, interior designers, barbers and cosmetologists.

(Let’s pause here to acknowledge that boiler regulation is serious business. Our state’s boiler safety program dates back to 1937 and was instituted after the New London school explosion that killed about 300 teachers and children in East Texas. The agency says Texas has about 54,000 regulated boilers in dry cleaners, car washes, power plants, etc.)

Pre-HB 2847, state boiler law (and if any law should have boilerplate language, it’s this one) said, “A certificate of operation must be posted under glass in a conspicuous place on or near the boiler for which it is issued.” In the bold new post-HB 2847 world in which we now live, a certificate of operation still must be posted in a conspicuous place on or near the boiler for which it is issued. BUT IT NO LONGER HAS TO BE UNDER GLASS!!!

Got to be a scandal here, right? Nope, none, says Amanda Robertson, chief of staff for state Rep. Craig Goldman, R-Fort Worth and HB 2847 sponsor. The new, glassless era for boiler certificates, Robertson said, is a result of a Texas Department of Licensing and Regulation suggestion that the glass provision was, as she said, a “redundant and ineffective and overprescribed unnecessary directive.”

God forbid that we have laws that dabble in redundant and ineffective and overprescribed unnecessary directives. That’s no way to make America great again.

Robertson, a legislative veteran, shared my bemusement at the whole deal. “This,” she proclaimed with feigned sincerity, “is monumental legislation.”

“Who would have thought there was (a law) specifically for putting a certificate under glass?” she said.

I don’t know. Maybe someone who’s been around the Legislature for 20 minutes or so?

Here’s the deal, according to state Licensing and Regulation Department spokeswoman extraordinaire Tela Mange: What we see here is a reflection of the inexorable march of time and concomitant evolution of picture frames. The under-glass law has been on the books for many years, Mange told me, and “the thought was that the certificate of operation would be displayed in a picture frame and posted at or near the boiler in the boiler room.”

“As you know, years ago all picture frames had glass, so the law required a glass picture frame,” Mange said. “Now, in more modern times, a lot of picture frames do not use glass. In fact, most cheap ones — which are the most likely to be used in a mechanical room — use clear plastic, so we would have to write up a violation during an inspection. With the new law, all that a building owner has to do is make sure that they have the certificate be posted on or near the boiler.”

“We’re more concerned that the certificate is located in the appropriate spot than we are with the means of display,” she said.

I love this deal because it combines two of my favorite things: Obscure legislative minutiae and industry jargon I don’t understand. Like this from a report at the recent boiler board meeting. It involved an enforcement action against a boiler guy (I think that’s the technical term) who was “found to have performed repairs on a boiler without holding an ‘R’ certificate of authorization from the National Board of Boilers and Pressure Vessel Inspectors.” (FYI, a hearty mazal tov to the national board, now celebrating its centennial year.)

But wait, it gets worse: “Mr. (Boiler Guy) was witnessed to have been grinding on welds during the course of the repair work.” Sounds bad.

In another case, an “owner/operator” was fined because “it was determined that the boiler had a faulty chimney B venting tube.” I love it.

So here’s where we stand now: The Board of Boiler Rules has proposed the rule ending the glass requirement. We’re now in the public comment period on the proposed rule. I’m OK with the rule. But if you’re not (maybe you’re in the glass business?), you can voice your opposition. The proposed rule, with others, is in the current edition of the always-tantalizing Texas Register.

Final note (for your daily planner): The Used Automotive Parts Recyclers Advisory Board of the Texas Department of Licensing and Regulation meets in Austin at 1106 Clayton Lane, Suite 125E, at 9:30 a.m. Monday. Several HB 2847-related items are on the agenda, including "Repealing the requirement for risk-based inspections and fees for repeat violations of Chapter 2309 of the Texas Occupations Code."

See you there. As you know, the good seats go early. (And if you do know that, now I'm really, really worried about you.)